Monday, October 10th, 2005

Time	Event
12:05p	OUCHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! or The Rock and Roll Lifestyle Has Its Price So needless to say, I was still absolutely exhausted after this weekend's events and in no shape to drive home. So Kris and I had one of our classic "slumber parties" which normally I love. Only little trouble was, I didn't have my contact solution or case with me which I knew would be a problem. Sure enough, my eye with my contact in it was in a lot of pain the next morning and when I was able to borrow his sister's contact lens solution to switch it over to my other eye, I noticed a stinging pain I hadn't felt in awhile. SHIT! I had scratched my cornea--I had done it about three years ago so I knew what it felt like. So Kris lent me his sunglasses to drive home in and after a rather dangerous journey, I came home and made an appointment with an eye doctor. Jen had to drive me at this point because my eye was in so much pain but I got in and he gave me some drops so I stayed home the rest of the day in the dark, lying on my fouton, drinking tea, watching movies, and being generally miserable as it felt like I was also starting to get a throat infection of some kind too. I did definitely need the day to rest but it would have been a lot nicer sans the searing pain in my left eye. And the pain doesn't stop there. Fuckhead called at 12:15 am and woke me out of a dead sleep. I of course ignored his call but listened to his message. Something about "he's been feeling really weird the last couple of days, would like to share some things, only sees me in a positive light, thank you for sharing things, give me a call if you want to talk, blah, blah, blah." Christ, the man can't even make an apology phone call at the appropriate time! I almost feel like calling him just out of morbid curiousity, but why even make the effort? And here's one final rather disturbing thought on Fuckhead and then I'm dropping the subject. Here is a 48 year old professional yoga instructor who has spent years studying spirituality, surrounding himself with positive thinking people from all walks of life, listening to affirmation tapes on how to be a better person, reading books on how to better communicate and be kinder to people and he is STILL an insensitive, egotistical, selfish ASSHOLE! Now, could you imagine what kind of a person he would be if he didn't have those positive influences in his life? I would say somewhere in the realm of Mussolini or Hitler--no joke. I give him some respect for trying to be a better human being, but how in the hell do you still the mark by that much? Maybe some people were just born to be assholes.......now that does explain a lot, doesn't it? Current Mood: irritated Current Music: Girls Will be Girls from the film of the same name (Comment on this)
5:51p	Almost recovered......... Damn it! Had to cancel my meeting with my agent today--I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm completely psychotic at this point but my eye was still in excruciating pain this morning and I knew I wouldn't be able to drive. I'll bring in my doctor's receipt next time--he really would have no other reason to believe me--he doesn't know anything about me and I want to assure him that I had every intention of going but was physically unable. So I spent the day recuperating--more tea, more vitamins, actually eating food, and I'm starting to feel better. I'm going out dancing at Boardners with my little buddy Phil tonight--I actually think some physical activity would be good for me at this point. I just have to dress a little warm when I go out to ward off any more illness--it's starting to get a little cold at night out here and the last thing I need is to be sick right now. Ok the LAST word on Fuckhead, for real this time. Actually called Fuckhead back last night--stayed classy about it too. The beauty of it all is that he sounded utterly traumatized by our little "break up"--I mean, really very affected by it--he said all this stuff about how he felt he "lost a friend, had his other friends around him for support, blah, blah, blah" so he is not completely without remorse but even still he wasn't able to give a decent explanation for his behavior other than "sometimes yoga brings out certain emotional aspects of himself that he unwittingly projects on other people." Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiggghhhhht........ So we concluded that we would "keep the dialogue open" which I honestly don't know what that means (does anybody?) but I really don't think I have any reason to subject myself to any more drama or disappointment. But I feel good about my behavior in this whole thing and I don't regret any anything (other than me not saying "You know for a Buddhist, you're a real asshole.")LOL! So Star just called me--I'm modeling for her photography assignement tomorrow--as Talulah Bankhead, a silent film actress who I look a lot like--so I'll be off to the Pasadena Art Center tomorrow--perhaps I'll run into Joseph or Fuckhead #2 who I could very well call him half the time--I know he'll be there tomorrow--meet him after the shoot for dinner, something a bit more scandalous? Current Mood: calm Current Music: Reno 911! Theme (that's what I've been watching all day) (Comment on this)

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