Current mood:	beyond furious
Current music:	Tyrone by Eryka Badu

PISSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OK

So its fucking 12:30 am. Nothing particularly noteworthy about that fact alone but my GODDAMN idiot peice of shit date was supposed to meet up with me sometime between 11pm and 12am and he is not here AT ALL. We discussed this point around 5 pm this afternoon and after leaving a particularly unpleasant day of work at Tommy Bahama coupled with the fact that I started to cry after I got off the phone with my mom because I suddenly felt an unexpected wave of homesickness, I raced over to Target, bought a new curling iron because mine had broken that morning and I needed it for the shoots tomorrow, bought some body butter and other essentials, called Wil to make sure we had some wine in the house, dashed home, cleaned, set out my wardrobe for tomorrow's shoot that I'm modeling for, prepped my makeup kit for the shoot I'm doing makeup for, took a shower, got Monquez's stuff together that he had left and had him over for a chat, shaved and moisturised every inch of my body, put on lingerie, did my hair, threw on a little makeup, set out some candles, opened the wine and....................

NOTHING. Not a phone call. Not one. Not one word of explanation as to why a gorgeous, mature, ready, willing, and more than able 24 year old girl has been seemingly stood up by a man exactly twice her age and of no noteable financial security. What the FUCK is wrong with this picture? WHY the fuck did this man even begin to entertain the notion of breaking this date without even a phone call? It is bad enough to stand someone up, but to not even call them to admit what a peice of shit you're about to act like? UNBELIEVABLE. I have literally never been so angry in my life at a man. And that fact alone makes me angry at myself. I mean, what is really the point of this negativity? Am I really this horny and wanting for attention? Well, actually yes, but is it worth all this trouble on my part? Absolutely the fuck not!

OK So now ASSHOLE calls me at 12:40--he is now getting a "bite to eat downtown, didn't have his phone on him, and will be over in a little while, is that too late?" Actually, yes asshole it is TOO FUCKING LATE but guess what--I'm going to fuck the shit out of you (the best anger fuck you or I have ever had) and then I am not calling your sorry ass ever again. I don't have time for bullshit anymore--I know what I want and I don't need any drama or games or strings attached to it. No wonder you're a fucking bachelor still at 48--big fucking surprise--so I'm not dealing with him anymore. Period.

Plus, the fucking vice president of Kaiser Permanente asked me out today and yes, the bitch gave him her business card.